Successful Neuro Linguistic Programming often depends upon influencing someone else to act in a certain way. This is much easier to do when that person feels a sense of rapport with you when you establish rapport with him. The respected Merriam-Webster dictionary tells us the definition of rapport is …
“relation marked by harmony, conformity, accord, or affinity”
The Oxford Dictionary also speaks of harmony between 2 people or groups when defining rapport. How can you use NLP to develop a harmonious relationship with someone else? Use the following NLP strategies and tips to help establish rapport with anyone.
- Mimic Posture, Movement, Body Language (Kinesics)
This is an old salesman’s “trick” for establish rapport that does 2 things effectively. First, it sets the prospect at ease because subconsciously she notices that your posture is like hers, and this familiarity is comforting.
Secondly, it allows you to enter the mindset of someone else. When you adopt the facial expression, gestures, eye movements and physical posture of another, your brain begins to think like they are currently thinking.
- Copy Speech Patterns (Paralanguage) and Language
You feel more comfortable around people who speak your same language. This is true even down to the regional or local level. Understand the tone of voice, the different inflections someone uses when they speak and the underlying meaning of the words they use.
You also want to use specific words and phrases that are relatable. A person’s speech is directly related to that person’s feelings and mindset. Speaking like they do can instantly establish rapport.
- Point out Lifestyle Similarities
It is important to focus on similarities between you and the person you are trying to establish rapport with. As you have already seen, doing this physically and by the way you talk is very important. The same is true with your behavior and inclinations. Recognizing and complementing a person’s style of dress, choice in personal vehicle or sports team apparel goes a long way toward building rapport.
- Adopt the Correct Pace
NLP pacing has to do with duplicating behavior, as you have just seen. But it also speaks to doing or saying the right thing at the perfect time. Mimicking someone’s behavior or speech patterns may look like you are making fun of them if your pacing or timing is off.
Turning to Webster’s dictionary once again, we find that empathizing means having the same feelings as another person. This requires you to “get into the mind” of another person. When you truly understand how someone feels, you can speak to their inner desires, and they instantly feel as if they know, like and trust you.