Lifestyle Personal Development Relationships

7 Tips for Introverts To Building A Social Life

building a social life
Written by James Irvine

Introverts are people who naturally like spending lots of time alone. For you to bring absolute meaning in life then you have to try connecting with other people. It is quite hard to convince an introvert to start acting like an extrovert. When you’re an introvert it will be difficult for you to let other people in. Connecting with other people is an important aspect of anyone’s life as it allows us to create bonds, share ideas, smile and laugh together as well as comfort each other during hard times.

There are various types of introverts and some of them include those who are: silent, shy, anxious, highly sensitive etc. Many introverts usually want to make their social life better but don’t know where to begin. This is difficult especially for those who are uncomfortable and shy to meet or connect with new people.

It is always essential for introverts to take a step of having an active social life and make friends beyond their comfort zone. Some people normally find it natural to interact with people but introverts find it awkward and weird. This is so because introverts might try to imitate the techniques used by extroverts to make friends and socialize. There’s no need to act like somebody else as being natural is what will help you improve your social skills.

Through practicing some steps you will become more confident and improve your ability to approach as well as connect with people. However, keep in mind that there are various kinds of introverts and they normally socialize in different ways. Explained below are some of the ways that will help introverts get a happier social life:

 

1.Meet New People

The first step to building a social life is learning how to increase your comfort zone and start meeting new people. Most networking advice typically tell introverts to try connecting with many people and meet new friends. What this does is make you more popular rather than helping you to improve your social life. The most important step to building a social life is starting with fewer people and ensuring you connect in a deeper way. If the number is controllable and manageable you will be willing to spend more with them. It is easier to keep in touch with 6-9 people as compared to having more than 10 friends which might be relatively tiresome. Take time to be in contact with friends and retain the best matches for you. If you are invited to parties, just go and talk to people in your circle but if you are uncomfortable try doing it another day when you’ll be relaxed and ready to interact with them. Take your time to meet more people and choose the right fit for you. Commit to helping some social community as it has the kind of friends that you’ll easily chat with.

 

2. Learn How to Use Communication Skills

If you want people to give you positive feedback and be motivated to become more social then you need to learn how to incorporate various techniques of communication. There are certain things that really matter when you converse with other people and some of them include speak loud and clear, smile often, pay attention when other people are talking and ask questions, ask open questions and much more. These communication techniques are what will help you connect with more friends and start talking freely to even strangers. For example, following a conversation and asking questions will boost your self-esteem and people talking to you will know that you’re paying attention and they’ll want to spend more time with you. You also need to seek advice from other people as it will help them feel important and validated. If you are having uncomfortable situations then try making the conversation to be about them. Take the attention off yourself and deeply listen to other people’s stories and ask them questions.

 

3.Have Time for Yourself

It is great to make new friends and connect with them, however, overdoing it will make you rely much on other people. You can go out with friends twice or thrice a week because there is no need to meet them every day. Don’t fear losing new friends by giving yourself some alone time, instead, take your time to choose the right match who understands you. However, don’t forget to keep in touch with friends. If you have a free time, mark it in your calendar and let it be the time when you reach out to friends; calling, texting or inviting them. When you are organized and know what you have to do at a given time then you won’t worry about ignoring new friends. Always remember to make a follow up with people as it will help you improve your social skills and make more friends. Also, during your alone time start setting simple goals like meeting new people every day or attending a party and meeting a new person. This is important as it will help boost your self-esteem as well as help you meet new friends.

 

4.Try Talking With Strangers

This is a challenging task for introverts especially when the people you want to talk to are unfamiliar. Chatting with strangers requires advanced social skills and this requires you to have mastered small talks first. Come up with your own methods of approaching unknown people and open up to them. The best way to practice talking to strangers is to start asking them to tell you what the time is. Asking people about the time is a simple exercise that’s fun and can go into further conversation. Talk with a shop assistant, taxi driver, physician, people next to you in a queue or even passenger seated close to you. It is simple to chat with strangers as there is always something you can say to them such as “Hello” or “Thanks” or “When is the bus or train coming” etc. Say or ask whatever goes with the situation and say in a friendly tone along with a great smile.

There are different kinds of people and it might reach a point where you will find those who talk too much. Many people usually believe that people who talk too much have important things to say. It might seem like people who speak a lot only think that we have nothing to say. Don’t allow yourself to believe that people who speak too much have more to say as it’s normally the opposite. In most cases, chatty people aren’t the most interesting ones in the world. You have what it takes to come up with interesting topics and chat with other people.

 

5.Choose What You Like

If introverts find the right experiences then they can be as open as extroverts. You can join organizations that are close to your residence or even build professional networks at your workplace. However, don’t restrict yourself but find connections outside your work organization. Look for pastimes, hobbies or even choosing groups which include gardening groups, chess clubs, book clubs or other social networks that allows you to help you connect with many people. Building social skills is all about feeling that you belong somewhere but not about talking to more than 10 people at an event. I know it can be difficult and overwhelming for an introvert to go out build a larger community network especially if you are meeting many people. You need to tell yourself that you’ll attend one group or club meeting and if it doesn’t work you will return. If you have the freedom of leaving if you aren’t having a good time then you will be in a better position to meet friends you match. Restricting yourself will mean that you need to do what you had planned or else you will end up giving up on making new friends.

 

6.Don’t Talk or Do What You Don’t Like

At first, don’t talk about what you don’t like e.g. talking about yourself, talking about death and much more. When meeting new people, focus and ask more specific questions. Don’t make the conversation to be about you or about your life but share your genuine opinion on the topic being discussed. Each time you meet try coming up with new interesting topics. If you do things both of you like then your friends will see that you’re interested in them and through this, you will start spending more time with each other and do things both of you like.

 

7.Be Patient

Most people hate waiting especially when it comes to matters of connecting with new people. You should always open up right away to people because they won’t insist on getting to know someone who isn’t willing to talk. We are always busy and our lives are filled with many distractions that might make us forget about other people. Understand that this is a normal thing and don’t take it personally. Remember that they have a million things to remember and you should keep in touch with them more often.