Personal Development Relationships

8 Forms Of Betrayals That Are Just As Hurtful As An Affair

forms of betrayal
Written by James Irvine

Every relationship has its own ups and downs, just because we build them from a point of love it doesn’t mean that it will be rosy all through. There are however chances of two people cultivating a strong and healthy relationship if they understood how far their actions go into building or breaking the relationship and that includes learning of the different forms of betrayal. This would mean going an extra mile to understand what counts as betrayal and not clinging to the stereotype that only affairs make up for betrayals. The hidden truth is that anytime you betray your partner, they are likely to forgive you, but when deception cuts too deep their pain never fades away and will haunt your relationship forever.

It is, therefore, a better idea to avoid these circumstances entirely rather than waiting to face the consequences. Come to think of it, it is everyone’s responsibility to keep their relationship alive and afloat but having to deal with betrayal makes the task tougher. If you and your partner are at a point where you are holding on to a string or things are already going downhill then any kind of betrayal sends the relationship crashing down. To avoid such situations, it helps to know of every other thing that falls on the betrayal list apart from affairs.

Physically cheating on your partner is terrible, we all know that and is at times a definite relationship-ender but there are still different forms of betrayals that break the trust in relationships and marriages. These forms of betrayal take away the mutual respect partners shared and that combined with broken trust is a sure sign that you might not last long. This is something to really give a thought because in some cases broken trust is likely irreparable. Let us, therefore, look at the little things that we normally do that are eating through or killing our relationships slowly without our knowledge and those which are the worst forms of betrayal. Below are the examples of betrayal:

(1)Putting Your Needs First

Every single relationship is meant to be about partnerships and equality, meaning that every partner’s needs and opinions count just like the others. It counts as a form of betrayal because it is an expression of selfishness meaning that one person’s value is being demeaned. That simple act of recognizing your partner’s needs and looking at them as important does not only work on making them feel good but also creates room for respect and appreciation. Among other forms of betrayal, this crosses the mind first because it is very common in relationships. It is real betrayal to always put your needs and wants above those of your partner because from the beginning you led them to believe that both of you are of value and then your actions speak differently. Anyone in a relationship should make an effort of understanding and appreciating their partner’s needs. This does not mean ignoring your own but having a way to ensure that both of you attain fulfillment and satisfaction. Losing focus of this pushes you away from each other as it is known to breed room for resentment. It is actually a common form of betrayal, one that goes unrecognized because many of us are never keen on watching our actions and we unconsciously keep hurting our loved ones.

(2)Confiding Important Things In Others First

There is always this rule that we need to tell our partners important things first because confiding in others before them spells betrayal. This is someone you have been with through both the good and bad and you spend a big part of your life with and letting them experience this form of betrayal hurts. It won’t make sense to them if you find the need to share sensitive issues of your life with other people and not them. Our relationships are meant to be trusting and open, meaning that communication should be of essence it being an easy way to avoid betraying each other in any form. Always make sure that you confide in your partner because if not they end up thinking that you don’t trust them or that they are of no help. It creates some kind of insecurity as one keeps thinking that they are not worthy or that their value in the relationship is not being embraced. If you have issues in any area of your life, whether personal or professional then it’s obvious that your partner should be the first to be let in on that.

(3)Saying Negative Things About Them To Family And Friends

When in a relationship there are times when partners or couples don’t agree on certain things or situations where one party does something wrong. The offended party ends up going to other people and expressing their anger and in the process speaks badly of their partner and this could count as the worst kind of betrayal. It could be that your loved one only made a mistake or that were ready to settle things without the involvement of family and friends but one still goes ahead and tarnishes their name just because they are angry. This is hurtful because even though you are in a relationship you are two different people with different perspectives about life. Just because you can’t agree on something or have different desires, it doesn’t make any of you the bad person. Saying negative things about your partner to other people especially those close to you is a form of betrayal that they may not be able to recover from because their names are tarnished then it is difficult to reclaim their dignity. Whatever differences you share in a relationship always try to keep it between the two of you because many times you find that the people you tell how bad your partner is could end up playing a role in making sure that the relationship is destroyed. Where there is love and respect, you all learn to maintain each other’s positive image no matter how bad things feel in the relationship. Talking ill of your partner to other people forms a new opinion of them in those people’s minds because people always believe what they hear. This is especially wrong when one partner keeps saying negative things about the other to their children. Whatever it is you are going through even during a divorce always maintain that positive picture in your children’s minds. No matter how angry or disappointed you are in your loved one never allow this form of betrayal be the reason for you to lose mutual respect.

(4)Lying About Stupid Things

For many people, lying is a form of betrayal that is completely unacceptable and something to be avoided at all costs. Most of us lie thinking that we are protecting our partners from the truth but all we are doing is betraying them. If you know that you have done something wrong or have gone against what you and your partner already agreed on never play safe by lying about it. Everything we do, all our hidden actions, thoughts or words always come to light because it is really hard to keep up with a lie for a long time. This form of betrayal always goes a long way and could end up destroying a love that was real and flourishing. When you wrong your partner, whether it was a mistake or is something you did intentionally learn to be open about it. No relationship can survive without trust and respect and lying, even if it is just about small things destroys the two. These are aspects that keep two people together even during the toughest of times and also what nurtures the love shared.

(5)Hiding An Addiction Or Disease

We all go through tough times in life and might end up getting caught in situations that are unbearable and we may feel that it is best if we keep them away from our partners. This may be true, they love you and may not have the heart to see you suffer but it is never your place to decide whether they should know about it or not. Doing this basically means you are living a lie and is also a cruel form of betrayal. To many of us, it may feel like we are doing the right thing protecting them from the pain but it actually is a form of betrayal. When you agreed to be together it was meant to be both through the good and bad and the only way to fight an addiction or ill health is when you have the support of your loved one. When a person loves you it means that they always want the best for you, hiding such sensitive issues will mean you not doing anything to help yourself. When situations get worse, your partner ends up blaming themselves for having not done anything to help you through it and feeling unworthy because you were not comfortable telling them what you are dealing with. Caught in such situations, this may be a difficult form of betrayal to avoid especially when we love our partners deeply but it is always better if you do the right thing.

(6)Faking Satisfaction Or Fulfillment

Am sure a number of us are reading of this form of betrayal and are thinking of the many times they actually did the same. We all want to feel or enjoy every aspect of our relationship and this could be both physical and emotional but because we lack effective communication we allow this specific form of betrayal be the reason for our downfall. When you are in a position where you are not being fulfilled either physically or emotionally but are keeping that away from your partner then it is considered as betrayal. To you it may feel like bringing it up may cause fights and arguments but it is actually the only easy way to strengthen the bond. Letting your partner know what you want or feel about certain things gives them a chance to understand you deeper. This will mean a platform for the both of you to right your wrongs and have a common goal which would include building a healthier relationship. Don’t wait until the relationship is no more or after a divorce for you to start mentioning the things that you didn’t like about your relationship. Knowing that you love one another, it should mean that you trust each other to accept correction or mistakes. If you find that your partner does not satisfy you sexually, talk about and see how you can improve that area of your relationship, if you are not receiving the attention you think you should, let your partner know about it and then find a common ground. This is actually what we may view as emotional or intimate betrayal and the more you hide from the truth, the deeper your relationship is affected.

(7)Using Children Against Your Partner

The worst thing one can do is allow themselves to let their children be a part o any form of betrayal in their relationship. In most cases, you will find that there is that one parent who is more connected to the children or spends more time with them. This means that the children end up trusting you more but it should never be used as a weapon against your partner in case things are not working out between the two of you. Whatever it is you are struggling with, whether it is dishonesty or just any fight never put your children in a position where they have to choose sides. If your partner does something wrong, it should be solved maturely and not trying to turn children against him or her. They may not understand what the two of you are dealing with but just because you have poisoned their minds with both your actions and words they end up despising your partner. It is actually complete betrayal because when a parent loses his/her children’s love, trust and respect their inner self is completely destroyed. You might think that you are simply doing what is best for you and your children but your spouse or partner will view it as a form of betrayal.

(8)Giving Up On Relationships

In every relationship, there will be fights but whatever your reasons for giving up, you need to know that nothing is reason enough for you to give up on the person you love. If you truly cared for and loved your partner enough, there should always be that part of you that is willing to fight for that relationship no matter what. Your partner may feel completely betrayed when you just wake up one day and decide that you are tired and that have no energy to fight for the relationship. Each partner confirms how much they value their relationship when they are always ready and willing to work things out during challenges. You may reach a point where everything seems dark that you easily fall victim of this form of betrayal but when you understand what you really want then you will fight for what makes you happy.